CLD #423

For the Refua Shlema of Mordechai Tzvi ben Sara & Binyamin ben Blanka. 

Once in a while we all have a spark of Kdusha that gets shot into us. BANG! GET RELIGIOUS! DO MITZVOT! GO TO THE NEAREST SHUL AND PRAY! PUT ON TEFILLIN! WHY AM I NOT WEARING A SKIRT?!?!? And on and on…

But is it normal to just follow this sudden advice of spirituality that came from no where (aka G-d)? In reality, it isn’t because one cannot jump into Judaism after stopping to do everything. 
But let’s just say they do take this advice (and it is normal for all of us to have it). They go to their Rabbi and slowly slowly, month after month ease their way into a life of G-d. For some people it takes years, but it is the same process (more or less) for everyone. So what happens? They try to follow a life full of Torah & Mitzvot and they find themselves going back to the sins in their previous years. Whether its immoral sexual acts, cruelty, having ‘unhealthy’ pride in themselves, being selfish, eating non-Kosher, etc. Whatever it is, they keep on trying and trying. But they do not see any salvation in the near future.

Then the cry comes, the repentance is in full blast with their whole heart into every tear. They cry and weep to Hashem and ask: IF YOU SEE I WANT TO GET CLOSE TO YOU, WHY ARE YOU NOT HELPING ME TO DO SO? WHY ARE YOU LETTING ME FALL TO THE DEPTHS OF SIN?!?!?!

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT logical, no? Takanat HaShav by Rav Yaakov Israel Lugasi, a book about one doing Teshuva and being in the process of getting closer to Hashem to stabilize their place in a world of Torah and Mitzvot, answers this question clearly.

What we do not understand is what we create in the spiritual worlds/realm when we unfortunately do sins. Rav Lugasi explains that the power of doing a sin is extreme. What happens? We create spiritual beings who become prosecutors. What do they prosecute against? When do they prosecute?

When one really decides to put all their efforts into a life of Torah, these prosecutors suddenly turn on like the Toy Story toys after the kid leaves the room. They yell and complain: HASHEM, WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM EXTRA HELP TO GET CLOSER TO YOU?! LOOK WHAT HE/SHE DID TO CREATE ME! And on and on.

So what is the basics of doing FULL Teshuva and getting close to Hashem? The idea of consistency. When someone does go in this path, they have to overcome many obstacles, but they should know NEVER to give up. NEVER EVER GIVE UP. Because it is like +’s and –‘s, once the –‘s (the sins) balance out with the good deeds (the +’s), only then one has an easier road in front of them with much minor obstacles.

B’H we should all BELIEVE that Hashem is with us ALL THE TIME. And that it is difficult for G-d to send us these obstacles, but what should He do when we have free choice and we chose to do what we did in the past (which cause those obstacles now).

So remember: Next time we think of doing a sin, just think in the future how much tougher it will be to get back to Point 1 and start fresh. Its like digging a deeper hole for ourselves.

SHABBAT SHALOM!

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