Last night before Yom Kippur. Looking back at
the last 39 days that are given to us for Preparation, we need to ask
ourselves: Did I prepare enough?
Rav Darmoni shlit’a and I spoke on the phone
today. He said a couple words of chizuk that really helped me realize that we
ALL need to improve, and no one, no matter who or what that person is, is an
exception.
He explained Tshuva in a metaphor that taught about
the Chessed (act of charity) that Hashem does with us in regards to Teshuva.
The Rabbi explained that Tshuva is a basic concept. Imagine someone threw a
glass bottle and by accident it hit your car window and resulted in a really
damaged window. It is not easy to repair a new and almost 99% of people rather
have the option to buy a new window then go through the pain of gluing back all
the pieces and making sure the window works with all the automatic buttons,
etc.
What does this teach us? Hashem brought us
into the world as perfect Neshamot (souls) with no Chet, Avon or Pesha (the
three different types of sin). Our job is to keep it at a level of purity where
it won’t become dirty. When one does a Chet, Avon, or Pesha it is like they are
cracking themselves into many pieces of glass. In order to repair this, one
would have to take each piece and glue it together spiritually. HOWEVER, what
did Hashem do? He had so much Chessed with us, that He chose to immediately do
the job for us. All we need to do is literally say (and obviously mean it with
whatever emotion we can come up with): Hashem, I want to do Tshuva and get
close to you.
So what are the exact steps of doing Tshuva?
Let’s say one G-d forbid wasted seed. What can
he do to ‘fix’ such a sin (actually considered the worst sin in the entire
Torah because the Shulchan Aruch, the book of Torah law that everyone follows,
says so)?
1. Vidui (Pounding on one’s chest) and
saying: “Ana Hashem Chatati, Aviti,
Pashati Lefanecha VeAsiti…” This means: Answer Me Hashem for I have _____ _____ and _____(using the word sinning in 3 different ways
to represent the 3 different sins) before you for doing _____(this is where the
person fills in their own sins IN THEIR OWN WORDS). This shows that Tshuva is
an extremely personal Mitzvah.
2. Charata. This is the emotional part.
This is where one FEELS the actual sadness of doing what he/she did. This is
when the person needs to look back at what he/she did and tell him/herself: How
did I do that? I must have been crazy to do such a thing to literally GO
AGAINST G-d.
3. Azivat HaChet (the promise to avoid doing the sin again): This is where one
tells him/herself that he/she will NOT continue to do this (these) specific
sin(s). At this point one should begin to think how to find ‘fences’ for
lessening the chance of doing this sin. For example, if one has a difficulty from looking at non-modest woman, he should refrain from going to places where they are mostly going to be. Or if he has glasses, he should take them off at places where these woman are.
B’H may we all just go higher and higher in Kdusha (holiness), Simcha (happiness) and overall Hatzlacha
(Success).
Yom
Kippur is Tomorrow.
Tonight
is the LAST night of Selichot.
SHABBAT
SHALOM!
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