YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP ANYTHING!
I found with myself that when it came time to make a decision to start keeping Halacha, Torah and to work on being a real eved hashem I struggled with the idea that I was giving up a life full of freedom and fun in order to join a lifestyle that is full of servitude, restrictions and obedience. But I was completely wrong!
In order for me to first see that I wasn’t giving up anything I had to first look at what I was giving up. I was giving up parties, girls, eating what I wanted to eat, shabbos I definitely wasn’t keeping, drugs, and just a do whatever I wanted when I wanted type of lifestyle. I thought it was amazing constantly having all these pleasures when I wanted! When I wanted to get high all i had to do was call up my dealer, and when I wanted to get with a girl all i had to do was call one up, and whenever i was hungry all i had to do was get in my car and order the 5,5,5 deal from dominoes. I sure as heck had a great time doing whatever it was i was doing.
After a while i began to question what it was i was actually doing, because nothing ever was fulfilling. Ya getting high is awesome but then you have to deal with being burnt out, so in those cases i would just get high again. And girls ya it was fun but a few hours later i would want to have fun again, so I'd have to call another one. Parties are great but everyone knows once it’s over everyone talks about all the fun things that happened there for a few days and then hope another one is coming around the bend soon. I remember even the conversations i was having with my friends got boring all we would talk about is sports, girls, drugs and stupid things that were going on there was no substance to the conversations at all.
So why was it that after i got high i needed to get high again, after being with a girl i needed another one, and after every party we always want another one? It is because the pleasures are really pleasures its just that they don’t last forever. These pleasures are very limited and after they leave you feel empty inside. Take a moment to think about all the pleasures that you have and enjoy doing (how many of them last for more then a few hours, the longest maybe being a few days but not more then that).
When one takes upon himself a lifestyle of meaning to be an eved hashem you will of course have a life that is full of meaning and substance! Hashem put us in this world in order to get pleasure, that’s why everywhere you look you are surrounded with hundreds of different types of pleasures you can choose for yourself. But there is only one type of pleasure that will be constant, that will be infinite, and the only way to get that infinite amount of pleasure is to go directly to the one who creates that pleasure and that is Hashem himself. Ramchal in the opening of Messilat Yesharim tells us that hashem created us to receive pleasure, but Ramchal adds that the only pleasure that is worth going after of Hashem himself. It is because hashem is the only one who can give us that infinite pleasure because hashem is the only one in existence that is infinite. And the only way to get close to Hashem is by being like him. If you look at all the people you have relationships with it is because you share something in common with them. (Yes hate is considered a relationship, and you’ll tell me you hate this person, well in order to hate that person you have to have something in common in order to have hated them. ex- same school work place, took the same train......) Regardless of the type of relationship you have with that person you share something in common. It is the same thing with hashem in order to have a relationship with hashem you have to have things in common, and the only way to have that relationship with hashem is to follow his torah and halachot.
Why is it though that we want that connection but we fail to get it? (one is because of klippahs-deep kabbalistic idea, we’ll talk about another time). But we will use the basic idea which is not basic at all but we will talk about the Yetzer Harah.
Rav Avigdor Miller discusses Kayin (parshas Berieshis, one of Adam Harishon sons... (kain and Abel.... Kayin kills Hevel because Hevels korban was taken and not his.) So after Kayin saw his korban was not taken he was in a crisis. He was crestfallen and depressed because his korban was not accepted while his brother Hevel’s was. So Hashem told Kayin “Lapesach chatas rovetz” (chatas crouches in ambush at the entrance)- know that there is such thing as a yetzer harah, and it is trying to get a hold of you. Be forewarned and do not succumb to it.
The Yetzer harah has many names, Shlomo Hamelech schuto yagel aleinu called it a sonei (hater), others call it Ra(bad). The Gemara uses a number of names to identify it. But here Hakadosh baruch hu calls it chatas. What does Chatas mean? Chatas means to lose out, to miss. Therefor it refers not so much to the wrong things you did but to the right things you failed to do! Hakadosh Baruch Hu is telling us that the greatest peril of the Yetzer hara is not in what he can cause you to do, but what he can cause a person to FAIL to do!
I think there is a very powerful mashal (parable) that will exemplify this point Rav Avigdor Miller is making here. There was once a man named Reuven and he had a wife and beautiful children.But they were poor so very poor. And every day he’d come home from his odd jobs that he’d do here and there and he barely brought home money. His wife would constantly complain to him that the children were starving and they were wearing old torn clothing it was such a sad scene so very sad. And one day Reuven heard of this island that was so very far away but everything in that island was made of diamonds. But i was a very far journey and he’d have to be away for a very long time so he pushed it off for as long as he could hoping to get a real job. But after sometime the situation that one though couldnt get any worse got worse. So he saved up whatever money he could built himself a small boat and sailed off to the island. After a long journey he arrived got out of his small boat and saw that the sand on the beach was in fact real diamonds so he emptied out his suitcase and started stuffing his suitcase and pockets with diamonds. He was already to go home but he was hungry and tired and he had a long trip back so he decided to go to the inn and rent a room for a quick nap and he will then sail back on home. But when it came time to pay for his room he paid with diamonds and the concierge there began to laugh, he asked why are you laughing i am paying you with diamonds there are worth thousands of dollars,she answered him and said here on this island diamonds are worth nothing here. So reuven asked what is of value so i can pay you, and she responded chicken fats. So reuven began to work hard dealing chicken fats because he wanted to come home a rich man and he worked so hard that he became the biggest chicken fat dealer in the island. He bought himself a yacht and packed the boats with all the chicken fats and the whole island came to send him off making a huge parade. After a long journey back his wife and children were so excited they saw this huge boat and were excited for a life full of riches. And reuven gets off the boat with all his chicken fats and his wife looks at him and say Reuven what is all this? and he said chicken fats honey you have nothing to worry about we are set for life. And she told Reuven you fool these chicken fats are worth nothing here, you went for diamonds and you forgot to bring them. Reuven was full of remorse and regret but then he remember he still had some diamonds in his old pants pockets the one he came to the island in. and they were able to live a modest comfortable life.
We were placed on this earth to collect diamonds but on this island that we live on diamonds are worth nothing here its all about the car you drive the house you live in the job that you have, how much fun and pleasure that guy is having. that we forget about the diamonds we came here to collect.
The diamonds we came to collect are all around us its in the torah in the mitzvot all we have to do is look around work a little hard and pick them up.
Every single living thing in this world shares something in common and that is death. We will all eventually die after 120 yrs. When we reach shamayim every single thing we did in our life time will be accounted for. You should constantly ask yourself am i doing the right thing. Am i picking up diamonds or am i picking up chicken fat!
Any questions or comments or to simply speak, email me at jdstern23@aol.com.
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