For the Ilui Neshama of Avraham ben Ester ZT’L.
How do we know that falling in sin is not from the intense
pleasure or incilination to sin but rather from the lack of Emunah in the
Teshuva of sinning? Meaning, how do we know that returning to sin is from our
lack of believing in the power of Teshuva, repentance, and its not some crazy
and intense feeling of “I need to do this or I will go crazy.”
What is so different in the need to be with a woman that is
not the same with other things? It actually rests in our Emunah in Hashem. How?
When someone falls and after the het
(sin) they experience this depression of hormonal activity in their body. They
do not have the esh zara (strange
fire), or simply the need to be with a woman, it all rests in their hisaron (missing part) of Emunah. So
logically it makes sense. At this moment after the fall, the person does not
want to continue being with the woman, for example in Amnon’s case in Shmuel
Bet he actually kicked out Tamar from his bedroom after raping her. He was
disgusted by his actions.
Therefore, where does the ta’ava (lust) to continue falling into sin come from? The lack of
belief in Teshuva. We must put it concrete in our minds: The Power of Teshuva
is BEYOND AND ABOVE THIS WORLD! Teshuva is so powerful that it brings the
person back and even to a higher level than before the sin. But at the same
time we cannot whatsoever believe that we can sin because there is such a thing
as Teshuva. Why? Because the Yetzer Hara will bring us to such low levels of
sin and hallucinations that we will say: “I want to continue and returning to
do Teshuva does not match the pleasure I am receiving from these sins.”
Basically, do not play games with angels and the spiritual realm.
Let’s be honest, we are only human with Hashem giving us the power of speech.
Limud Torah, Tefillah and Gemilut Hassadim can all be accomplished through
speech. B’H these mitzvot should save us from the hands of the Yezter Hara.
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